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Last week I saw a two-month-old baby girl with her mother and sibling at my office for routine check up and immunizations. The sibling is a two-year-old girl who can talk in two- to five-word sentences, which indicates very advanced language development. Many three-year-old children can’t talk the way she does, so I asked about her developmental history. Her mother said that all of their relatives are surprised how advanced she is.
I was able to examine the two-year-old girl without any objections or crying fits. Looking at her ear with the otoscope was easy, and she did not show any resistance when I examined her belly. Most two-year-old children who are not advanced in language development are not cooperative during routine physical examination.
After examining both children, I predicted how the two-year-old would perform in school. I told the mother that her daughter would be in the top three of her class in elementary school as well as in high school. Then I gave her some advice on how to make both of her children do well in their educational pursuit.
The first principle is to talk and read to both of her children as often as possible. When reading and talking to them, the mother should be very animated, enthusiastic, and full of fun. Interacting with the children through reading and fun play is one of the best ways to stimulate their brain development. I emphasized that everything they do together should have a component of fun, joy, and lots of smiling and grinning.
Yes, the fun, joy, grins, smiles, and laughter between the mother and the child are the best ingredients for advanced language, cognitive, and quantitative development. Not only does happy interaction lead to smarter children, it also reduces the risk of behavioral problems and depression in children and in their future as teenagers and adults. These hourly and daily happy dialogues and playtimes between the mother and child promote and cement strong attachment.
Attachment with one of the parents or one primary caregiver is the foundation of brilliant emotional development, which is the cornerstone of high intelligence, creativity, and success in school. The way we think, learn, and make decisions are primarily guided by our emotional foundation, which we copy mostly from our parents.
The seeds of attachment begin from the very first hour after birth. The first “look” between a newborn and the mother is a significant event. This is the great beginning of attachment.
When I visit with a mother who just delivered a newborn baby I talk only of two topics, which I call my “BB” talk: breastfeeding and brain development.
The first question I ask the mother is whether she will breastfeed or bottle-feed. I encourage her to breastfeed, and if she will bottle-feed I recommend the new formula Enfamil Lipil, which has the polyunsaturated fatty acid that can aid in brain and visual development. I spend only a couple of minutes discussing feeding issues, and go straight to mental nutrition for better brain development. This is when I give the parents a copy of my “Ten Commandments For Parents to Have a Smart Baby.”
I focus on the seventh and eighth commandments. The seventh commandment is: "Thou shall not watch television, VCR, or computer until she is six years old." And the eighth commandment is: "Thou shall not shout, fight, or be angry when baby is in seeing or hearing distance."
Many parents easily neglect these two commandments because they are difficult to follow. Television is ubiquitous in American homes -- it is so easy for babies as young as six months to watch TV. It is a brain buster for babies, and even for many teens, because it reduces interaction time with a loving adult.
For the brain to learn effectively and make smart decisions, the emotional brain center should be well developed. Watching TV, computer, or Nintendo reduces proper connection between the executive brain center or the prefrontal area and the emotional brain or the amygdala. These two brain centers are very much involved in attachments with the mother or primary care giver.
The last “commandment” in my list is: “Thou shall maintain a stable and intact family.” I cautioned the mother that this is difficult to follow since the divorce rate is close to 50% now. But if they can avoid marital discord until the children are 18 years old, then that is the best gift they can give their children.
Leo Leonidas, MD, FAAP
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